Dear Penny: Letters to our Child #12

As always, click the "Dear Baby Series" tag at the bottom of the post for all the letters I've written to our baby, including the ones I wrote before our baby was conceived. Thanks for sharing this special journey with me :). As you'll see in this letter, the baby was the size of a lentil exactly 2 months ago. As of this week s/he is the size of an apple! Grow baby, grow!!!

Oh... and before you go thinking you know our #1 boy name, it has changed. Bwhahaha... sorry! We'll announce our names once we're sure and once we've shared with family. Which possibly might be after the baby is born and we see his or her face! 

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Dear Baby Penny, 7/14/2013

Mommy is so, SO anxious to see you again on ultrasound, to make sure that your little heart is beating and that you are growing. Only 9 days left! Last night I asked Daddy, “Has it only been less than 2 weeks since we found out Penny exists???” and he said yes. It feels like so much longer for two reasons. One, the amount of sheer joy and happiness that you have already brought us and our families, And two, the amount of anxiety mommy has about whether or not things are ok.

God has given me so much peace amidst my stress this past week. I will have a day with little to no symptoms and freak out that you are no longer with us. I pray to God for nausea (can you believe it?) and BAM within a few hours I’m usually nauseous. I pray to God for peace, and a little while later get one of the twinges in my abdomen that I’ve been getting since before we knew you were in there. Those things help me so much. There are also things that, to me, are even more powerful though they might seem silly to someone else. Remember how I was given so much peace by originally being told that our due date was St. Felicity’s feast day? Well, yesterday at Mass, Daddy had arranged for us to have you blessed. And Mass just seemed to point to peace and new life in the songs and readings. The first song was the prayer of St. Francis. And as I sang the line “where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope”, I happened to look down at the bottom of the page to see that the author/composer of that song’s first name was Sebastian, which is our #1 choice for a boy’s name. Another wave of peace washed over me.

After Mass, the priest took us up to the front of the church. He said prayers of thanksgiving, prayed over mommy and daddy individually, read from the Gospel of Luke about Mary being pregnant with Jesus, and gave us the biggest smile to send us on our way. It was a bit rushed because the next Mass was going to start, but I won’t forget the line where he prayed for my anxieties.... that we had not told him about. So many little moments we feel God with us.

You are only the size of a lentil, but you have brought us so much closer to God. We are praying like crazy both in thanksgiving for you and for our health during this pregnancy. Who knew that a baby the size of a lentil could bring us so much closer to God? You already have purpose, even as a teeny baby in the womb.

We’ve been naughty and have been buying things even though we said we wouldn’t until 8 weeks. We are just SO EXCITED! Mommy scored an awesome carrier for really cheap, and got fabric for Daddy to have an Avengers wrap made. We got a few pieces of clothing on clearance and at thrift stores, and it makes it feel more real! We are starting to sell some things we don’t need (furniture occupying your room) to get ready for you, and used the money from a sale to get a like new co-sleeper. Yes, it’s early. Yes, anything could happen. But we are celebrating you being here with us every single day and I will never regret that! We love you so much, little bean. Stay safe and cozy in there and I can’t wait to see you in 9 days!

Love, Mommy