End of Year Baby Prep Ramblings

As usual, I cannot believe that it's almost Christmas and almost a new year! And that means... it's almost baby time!!!!!!!! When I first found out I was pregnant, I kept thinking how far away it was. But as with my last two pregnancies, any time the holidays are involved, it goes SO FAST. The end of the year is over in a flash, and all of a sudden it's prep time. I'll have about 2.5 months to do what needs to be done. And since I'm proclaiming a minimalist baby :), it's not a ton. There will be no nursery for this little one since history shows our babies like to spend the first 10-12 months in our room anyway. Or rather, mommy likes it because it's easier! The AAP recommends 6 months I think, for SIDS prevention, and I tack on a few extra for "mommy's going insane" prevention :). All we need to do in our room is set up the pack n play, and get the baby's clothes, diapers, wipes, other little accessories organized in an empty shoe organizer in our closet. The pack n play has a diaper changing section, so we didn't bother with a changing table in our room this time. My other goal is to get the freezer stocked. I, like most other moms probably, find meal prep to be very overwhelming for the first 2 months or so. Friends and family usually take care of us for the first 2 or so weeks, but I like to be well stocked after that. It'll be a combination of frozen pizzas, premade frozen lasagnas, chicken nuggets, and freezer meals I've put together, mostly for the crockpot but some casseroles, too. I want to not think about dinner for as long as possible! I told Steven yesterday that I also want to get some of those meal prep containers that are really cheap on Amazon, and get the girls lunches made for the week each week on one day that he's off. They tend to like "snack style" lunches... pepperoni, lunch meat, cheese, veggies and ranch, fruit, some type of cracker. So I can put everything in there, one of the girls can grab two out, and Felicity can grab them a few crackers if I'm tied up with the baby. The name of the game is going to be making everything as easy as possible! The great thing about an early spring baby is we can spend a lot of time outside before it gets blazingly hot. I think that will help the girls' adjustment a LOT since they're already used to outside time. I can nurse, rock, shush- whatever I need to do- just as easily outside in the 70 degree weather as I can inside, and they can play on their scooters, run, dig etc. I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous about transitioning from 2 to 3 children, mostly because I know the noise level and reduction of snuggles will be really hard for Clare, but I also know that I can only do what I can do, and the rest is a game of survival :). Anyway, as much as I love the holidays, and I'm soooo excited for Christmas morning with hubby and the girls, I am also excited about starting the new year and getting ready for our baby boy!

Baby Names

Well, we announced our baby's name to the girls so I guess it's pretty official! It's so weird to me saying and using the name before birth. We knew our girl and boy names for the girls, but since we didn't know what we were having, they never got used until they were born. We referred to Felicity as Penny (small form of Cash, our last name), and Clare as Jellybean. We had dubbed this baby Mimi3, as Clare has long called all babies or small things "Mimi" and he's our 3rd child, but now we go between using that and his name, Jacob. I wouldn't let Steven or I use it at all for a few months because I'm so afraid I'll get tired of it before he's born! But I felt like knowing it would probably be good for the girls, and they both talk about him, so I think it was a good choice. We haven't totally solidified a middle name, but we are leaning towards Theodore. That was our boy name when we were pregnant with Felicity, but by the time I was pregnant again, it was way too popular for me to consider. This time I knew I didn't want it as a first name, but wasn't sure whether I'd want to use it as a middle name. Often through this pregnancy, when I get overwhelmed, I remember how much God wanted this baby here. If you need a slightly TMI recap, this baby was a one shot wonder 😂😂😂, which was shocking considering Felicity took many months and fertility treatments, and Clare took many months. This time, we were afraid but open to the thoughts of a 3rd, and then later I said a prayer to God, essentially "God, I don't know if we'll be that open again, so if you want us to have a 3rd child, make it happen". And here we are. So anyway, I was up with pregnancy insomnia the other night and googled names that mean "God's will" or "God's gift", and up popped Theodore among many other names that were from other cultures and not something we'd choose. It just felt meant to be. Like "oh, there you were all along!".

Did I ever share the story on Jacob? I don't think I did. The day we found out we were having a boy (maybe 13 or so weeks with an early blood test my mom sent us from Amazon), we were pretty stressed. Honestly, we both expected it to be a girl and we *know* girls, so it shocked us! We sat on the porch that afternoon for quite some time, chatting and getting used to the idea. We began chatting names, which we had already done SO many times before, and had never even come close to agreeing on one. Even previous pregnancies, the girl names were easy and the boy names were so tough for us! I went into the hospital with Clare knowing that, if she was a boy, I didn't want to use the boy name we'd picked lol. And all of a sudden one of us mentioned Jacob, which had someone never come up on a saint list before, and we both lit up. We both liked it! I quickly googled and yes, he's a saint! He was a martyr in Korea.

So, barring any random decisions that I totally have the prerogative for, our baby is Jacob Theodore!

Life Happens

As you can see, life gets in the way of my very lofty plans to journal daily. But it's mostly for good reasons! I've had some very wonderful days with my girls. I'm the worst about letting a bad hour ruin an otherwise good day, so I've continued to work hard to shift my perspective and not do that. Yesterday was about as perfect as perfect can be. Any time there's winter weather, Steven has to stay overnight at a hotel. He had to stay two nights this time. So any "break" I get when he gets home is obviously gone during that time. I was prepared for yesterday to be tough, both because it was mostly an indoors/can't-go-anywhere day AND because he was gone for 48 hours. But the girls and I had such a great day! We watched some extra shows and The Star movie, snuggled and read books, they played makeup, really just every day stuff but I didn't let a tough 5 minutes here or there spoil the day. And bed time was EASY which is not often the case. It was exactly what my mama heart needed. Today Steven is still at work, it's still super gross outside and below freezing, and we're stuck inside again but.... so far, so good! We got our school done, our advent things done, and the girls are snuggled up with a Curious George Christmas movie. I've relaxed my rules around screen time a lot the past few days, which is fun for ALL of us. It makes me glad for my regular screen time rules, because this feels so out of ordinary and special. I'm working hard still on slowing down this advent and it's helped a lot. I still think about running out for a tree... but I remind myself how much they've loved playing with their Charlie Brown tree, and how much I've loved removing a situation where I'd need to redirect constantly. I'm enjoying simplifying gift getting, and focusing more on reading lots of great Christmas books with the girls, doing our advent wreath prayers, praying our new baby's rosary, and doing crafts together. The Jesse tree did not happen again this year, and I'm not even stressing it. Maybe next year! I hope your advent is as peaceful as ours is going so far!

Letter to our Baby Boy

Baby boy,

We are getting SO excited for you! This pregnancy is flying, no doubt because your sisters are keeping me SO busy! Physically this pregnancy has been easier than my last one, so that is nice! Maybe it didn't get harder until later... I can't remember. But I'm enjoying feeling somewhat human :). I am reacting to the progesterone injections that are keeping you snug and warm inside, so that is a bit scary, but trying to trust that everything will be ok. So far I'm having to miss one of my two shots per week, and have had to be on antibiotics for that area getting infected. I found it weird that I never had this problem the last two pregnancies (well maybe once or twice but never recurrent like this) but apparently with it being in oil, you can develop almost an allergy to the oil. I guess not allergy but intolerance? So that's potentially what's happening but... they don't make it in another oil! Just a small price to pay for my sweet boy. If only I could get your sisters to quit bouncing off my right side!

Today at library story time there were 3 different babies all crawling age, and all boys. Both girls loved them and kept rubbing their heads and backs, and watching them crawl. It got me sooo excited to see them with you!!!! It still blows my mind that you're a boy, and it's been fun watching other baby boys because I really only ever imagined myself as a girl mom! I ordered a few newborn sleepers and it was really fun to get them in the mail and try to picture you wearing them. Ms Natalie (mommy's best friend and your future Godmother!) got me the diaper bag and dinosaur muslin blanket I wanted. It makes it feel so real! In a few months you'll be snuggled in that blanket! You are such a wiggly guy and I wonder if you always will be. You seem to be more "hands" than feet. I feel those hands going ALL the time, but only get truly kicked once or twice a day. I love you and can't wait to meet you.

Love
Mommy

Oh My, Apple Pie

This morning I made an apple pie. That might be a regular day for some people, but I really struggle with baked goods, so I don't make them often. But I realized that never having them does nothing to help my girls, and I want them to have memories of us baking. So when I came across an apple pie recipe that sounded good to me (pie is usually not my thing!), I ripped it out and decided to make it at some point. Then Steven's mom asked me to bring a pie for Thanksgiving, and the girls and I had so much fun making a chocolate chess pie. And I happened to have one crust leftover so.... now there's a freshly baked apple pie on my counter waiting for dinner time tonight! I know lots of people bake around the holidays, but it's hard for me to rationalize that knowing that we're already getting lots of extra treats around those times. I need to get better at making treats here or there in the longer spells without holidays/treats/candy. My neighbor bakes all the time, and usually ends up giving half away as soon as she makes it. This sounds painful to me :), but certainly healthier than standing in the kitchen silently eating a brownie while my kids play in another room!

Homeschool Update

Well, since I never posted about starting homeschooling, I guess this isn't really an update :). I started pre-k with Felicity in September, right after our family beach vacation. So far we are absolutely loving it!!! I spent a ridiculous amount of time researching for a couple years (we have known we wanted to homeschool for a while). I stumbled upon Charlotte Mason, and then Mater Amabalis which is the Catholic version, and it was love! There is very little formal schooling before age 7, and lots of time spent outdoors/in nature, coupled with living books instead of text books, and lots of high quality literature. Could it be any more perfect!? I'm sure I will tweak it a bit each year, but so far I've been really happy with it and I'm eager to do kindergarten with her next year! We are in the first year of "prep level" this year. There were one or two things I removed, but otherwise I'm following it pretty closely. Our day generally looks like: breakfast while I read a bible story, followed by any table work we are doing (writing, math, workbooks- which are NOT Charlotte Mason but my kid loves!, etc). Then we move out to the couch for reading time. Generally we do arts/crafts and one other thing in the afternoon; usually a hands on phonics or math game, and then we spend as much time outside as possible. I aim for about 2 hours a day... that'll increase when they can go outside without me, either because of their age or because we FINALLY build a fence ha! Sometimes they scooter and play with friends, and other times we go on nature walks, hikes, or make "soup" out of mulch, rocks, and berries. We have started nature journaling a tiny bit, but mostly I leave nature time pretty unstructured for now. I would say all in all, we spend 40 or so minutes a day doing "school" when you think of the more formal things, but of course Felicity is learning tons outside of that when she helps me clean, or cook, or just asks questions on her own. We normally do about 4 days a week with maybe a super quick thing to wrap up the week on the 5th day. Next year will go up to about an hour a day. One of the biggest perks for me has been doing art with her. She not only loves it, but I am enjoying it and learning so much, too! We've learned about a couple different artists now, and my favorite so far has been Kandinsky who created abstract art. There is a book "The Noisy Paint Box" that has SUCH a wonderful message for young kids, with his actual life experiences and quotes in it. I highly recommend checking it out! We are going to start some music study soon (and by study I mean painting or coloring while we listen to a composer and me mentioning his name :) ), and we are going to The Nutcracker next month... can't wait! So far homeschooling gets 2 thumbs up from all of us!

Five Minutes NOT About Thanksgiving :)

It would be easy to use my journaling time today to recap what we did for Thanksgiving but, let's face it, that would be kind of boring. What I'm going to share is related, without a play by play. After we ate yesterday, we went to my mother and father in law's new/old farm. I say new/old because it has been in their family forever, but they are the new owners. They have lived the last 30 years in a small ranch home not too far from this land. My MIL's mother and father had this land and the buildings on it until she passed earlier this year. There are 6 children and they split up the land, animals, rental trailers, and farm equipment between them. No one else wanted the actual farm, but my MIL did. My FIL was a bit resistant, mostly because of the amount of work it would take to keep up with the small farm property, and then to sell their house they've lived in for decades. But since no money had to be exchanged, they can take their time with both getting the farm house ready to move into, and selling their current home. There are many old sheds and buildings on the property, but one is the house my MIL grew up in that had no electricity or running water before the current house was built. It is so crazy to think about that! Yesterday we walked down to the creek and saw the spring that her parents would get water from. It's now fairly dilapidated and stores old farm stuff, but it is really cool to have that piece of history on their property. After they split everything 6 ways, my in laws got about 10 acres of land including the house, one of the pastures, some woods, and the creek. I cannot tell you how excited I am to have my kids grow up visiting and playing here!

One of my internal struggles since choosing the Charlotte Mason method of homeschooling for my family is that there is quite a lot she recommended, that I agree with, that is really hard to provide in many modern day settings. For example, she suggested that kids be outside for 4-6 hours a day. I actually totally agree with that, but when you have a toddler and live in the suburbs with small lots, you have to supervise everything, and who has 6 hours to sit outside each day!? Any day that's nice, we aim for 2 hours, and my kids LOVE nature and being outside, so it's working. But I do still with that I could open the back door and send them out into our expansive field of a backyard to run, play, and collect bugs. Buuuuut I really like having neighbors and short mowing times and Target, Chickfila, and Starbucks 5 or so minutes away :). So, in a way, this is the best of both worlds. I keep my modern conveniences (I'd still like a bit more property at some point in our future, but for now we are staying put!), but we have 10 glorious acres of land we can hop in the car and go play on and explore for the day. I'm not sure why we didn't feel like we had that same access when Steven's grandma was alive... certainly I don't think she would have cared, and probably would have loved it!... but this certainly feels like opening a whole world of nature and fresh air to my kids. Yesterday they spent about a half hour running across the tops of hay bales. I can't wait for more of that!

To Tree or Not to Tree

I've obviously been thinking a lot these past few days about letting go of stress and choosing joy, even amidst certain circumstances that I can't change. I came to a pretty big (for me) decision today that I still have mixed feelings about, but I know it's the right decision. A few weeks ago, I sent Steven a Five Below ad and asked him to swing by and pick up their $5 4 foot artificial Christmas tree. I knew for $5 it would probably be a Charlie Brown tree, but I figured that would be perfect for a tree that the girls could decorate and undecorate to their hearts' content. I got a few wooden ornaments from Michael's that they can paint, and we have plenty of kid friendly ones in our stash. At that time, it was going to hopefully be a way to keep Clare from undecorating our real tree, like she did last year. But today I had a light bulb moment. Eliminate stress, choose joy. Let the girls have their tree as OUR tree. Charlie Brown and all, who cares? They certainly won't. They'll be thrilled to be totally in charge of the tree. And it will save us the money of buying a real tree (which I LOVE, but it does get pricey year after year), and the time of getting it, getting it set up, watering it, vacuuming the needles every few days, feeling stressed when ornaments are being taken off, and eventually having to take it all down to the curb, and scrub out the tree stand from all the sap. A year off? I'll take it. I don't feel pressure at all from my family; I know the kids will love the little tree, and Steven is very pro reducing stress for me. But I still feel that outside pressure, imaginary maybe, of anyone coming in our home seeing that we don't have a 'real' (live or more legit artificial tree). There's always that neighbor or friend with the show worthy house that you can't help but think "man, they're going to think this is so lame". But.... like was on my list, I need to let go of expectations- both expectations I have of myself, and ones that others may have of me (or that I assume they have of me). So I am letting it go. This year we will embrace and enjoy our Charlie Brown tree! And next year we'll have a crawler, so this may be a tradition for a while ;). As Felicity popped up this morning at 6:15 and said "Happy Thanksgiving Eve, mama!!!!", it helped me realize that she cares about the same stuff I do... the people, the joy of the season, the excitement. She doesn't need anything fancy to enjoy the fun of the day, so neither do I!

Changes on the Horizon

So out of the list I linked to yesterday, there are definitely a large handful I think I could benefit from. I know that if I go 'whole hog" into it, it won't last, so I'm hoping for some slow changes. The fact that I'm journaling for the second day is hopeful :). I also know I may lose and gain momentum at various points, and I want to be ok with that as long as there's over all progression. So here are the things I want to focus on, eventually:

Take time in the morning to find your center and set intentions for the day.
One thing I love about Felicity's preschooll curriculum is that it includes actual bible readings each morning. A lot of curriculums for that age would be kid style bible stories. Because this is actual scripture, I've found myself benefitting from it too! And now that both kids are sleeping well, I'm hoping to have a few minutes each morning to wake up and get my head in the game before they do. This happens a couple times a week right now, and is so helpful! So this one I will keep trying to improve, but I've unintentionally been working on anyway.

Consistently let go of expectations. 
This one is actually addressing expectations you have of yourself and that others have of you, but my bigger stumbling block is unrealistic expectations I can sometimes have of others. So that's going to be my bigger focus.

Enjoy nature.
Another thing that has been enhanced SO MUCH by Felicity's curriculum! We have been doing nature walks, hikes, and nature journaling and I would lying if I said it didn't benefit me as much as it does her :). Even the simplicity of watching my girls collect acorns is so relaxing. I like enjoying nature AND enjoying them in nature.

Eat nourishing whole foods.
Yeah, this is a big one I need to focus on. I will definitely have to do it slowly but I know this is a big part of my problem.

Get up and dance when you feel too serious.
At first the thoughts of this made me want to punch someone so I was going to toss it in the "does not apply" pile. But who I do spend my whole day with? An almost 5 year old and almost 3 year old. I think this could diffuse many a situation or tense mood!

Unplug your devices and relish in the stillness.
Well, there's no stillness here, but I certainly could stand to reduce my screen (phone) time!

Be mindful of complaining too much/Practice radial gratitude/Seek out the good in a situation (all similar so I combined them).
I'm awful about this. I could have 8 beautiful hours in a day and I let 1 really hard hour overshadow all of that. I'm going to focus on more intentionally noticing what things I am grateful for and what things are going well. I tried this at the park yesterday after reading this list. Clare was having a REALLY hard time, as she has been for a few weeks now, but in all reality that was 30 minutes out of 2 hours and 15 min. So I sat back towards the end and relished in how nicely they were playing in the sand and how most of the park trip had actually been delightful!

Get lost in a storybook.
Work in progress! I am generally in the midst of one fiction book and one or two nonfiction books, but part of putting the phone down will be picking the book up more!

Set goals and take daily action to make them happen. 
I sort of do this now, but could use improvement. We have Felicity's lesson plan laid out, and I always have a general list of what I want to get done that day. But I still waste a lot of time and let a lot of projects fall by the way side. I am good at keeping up with daily tasks, but not so good at things like cleaning out closets, spring cleaning, etc.

Formulate a person mantra.
This one sounded cheesy to me at first, but I do think in those tough parenting/stay at home mom/homeschooling moments, it could be helpful to have a mantra to repeat while breathing.... "you are a good mom, your children are good children, you can do this". Something like that, maybe.

Don't assume.
This mostly applies to my husband. I need to communicate with him more and assume less, especially because my assumptions at the end of a long, tiring day (for both of us!) are generally neither fair nor kind.

Laugh as much as possible. 
Another thing I am terrible at! I am way too serious for my own good, and I need to learn to find humor in things, to laugh at myself, and just relax a little!

This took way more than the recommended 5 minutes of journaling a day, but it's worth it to have it all in one place that I can look back on when needed! Plus my kids are (mostly nicely) coloring in the other room while I'm doing this :).

Trying Something New

I've been on a search the past few days of how to "thrive" instead of "survive". I feel like I have spent the majority of the past 2 years in survival mode. That doesn't mean there hasn't been joy; there has been a LOT of joy. But for me it means there hasn't been enough joy or gratitude, I've stressed to much, I've had too high of expectations of myself and others, and I haven't dealt well with circumstances outside of myself and/or my control. I've been thinking about how we are going into a season of actual survival after the baby is born, and how am I doing that when I still feel like I'm in survival mode right now??? So I've been hunting for books and podcasts to help. I haven't found a ton as far as practical help, but I did find this article that has quite a few things I want to implement (and also some fairly woo suggestions lol).

So one of the suggestion is to journal for 5 minutes a day. I think, ideally, that would be handwritten form. But this is so much easier. For now, I'm going to aim to do it here. If that doesn't work, or it begins to feel too personal to post to the general public, I'll switch to actual journal form. If I keep up with this for at least one day, I'll be back tomorrow to share which of the 31 I want to work on implementing :).

This Pregnancy So Far...

I don't think I will be with it enough this time to do those cutesy quizzes (did I just hear an audible sigh of relief from my handful of readers? ;) ), but I did want to at least document some things, so I'm going to make my own categories here! I'm 17 weeks and 4 days currently.

Weight gain: Oy, let's get this over first. I've gained 13lbs so far which is a lot for this point in pregnancy AND I started off about 10 lbs higher than my last two. Not at all excited about losing after baby is born, but it is what it is for now. It's definitely making me more self conscious and less "cute pregnant" feeling, but I'm trying to love my body knowing that this is very likely our last.

Nausea: Very similar to the girls, I was nauseous for about the first 10 weeks, pretty badly (it felt to me, at least), and then it eased up a lot, totally disappearing by 12 or 13 weeks. It felt so terrible at the time but already seems like a distant memory! Ice water did not seem to help this time around, which was my go to last time, but "preggie pop drops" did!

Cravings: Meat, "real food" or "dinner food" as I call it (ie only eating meal food and not snacks, which I'm sure contributes to the 13 lbs!), and Taco Bell supreme tacos. Oh man, such a strong craving for THAT particular taco and I'm not normally a huge taco/crunchy taco fan, though I do love texmex in general. I even tried making them at home and it did nothing to satisfy my craving. I was sort of anti sweets for a while and now back to wanting ice cream but... that may have nothing to do with pregnancy lol.

Least favorite moments: Spending the last few months fighting with insurance over progesterone, which THEY said they'd cover at 50%, only to find out they actually won't cover it at all. Feeling so exhausted that it's sometimes tough to make it to the next room! It happens a lot in the morning but rarely in the afternoon; so weird.

Favorite moments: Clare asks to feel the baby and then giggles and says "baby tickle me!' even though clearly we know she's feeling nothing. It is PRECIOUS. Finally agreeing on a boy name with Steven after WEEKS of discussion, the afternoon we got our blood test results back saying we're having a boy. Apparently we just needed to know that we in fact CAN make boys lol. The name isn't final so I'm not sharing, but it was nice to finally agree on one!

Oh Boy!

Dear Baby.... Boy?,


Well, Meammy sent us one of those blood tests you do yourself and mail in and, according to that, it says you are a boy! I have to say, Daddy and I are pretty shocked. I did not have a feeling about either of your sisters, but I had a strong feeling you were a girl. I think we just assumed we only make girls :). Daddy is still processing the news, but loved the Avengers onesies Meammy sent. I think that helped him to picture his little boy wearing them. I am very excited except that no matter how you look at it, boy clothes just aren't as cute, haha! There are some cute clothes, definitely, but soooo much blue and sports themes. I've seen a lot of bear themed things which, as you get to know me, you'll learn I love bears, so I'm sure you'll have lots of cute bear clothes! I am going to a consignment sale for half price day tomorrow and I'm pretty excited to pick out something for you. I'm going to let Felicity choose something as well, which I think will help excite her about her little brother. It might not surprise you that she was on team girl, but she'll come around! She loves ALL babies, but prefers ANYthing that is a girl right now.... girl dolls, girl people, girl "colors" as she says (sigh!), girl animals. I want to be extra sure you're a boy before I go crazy on clothes (I'm so excited I get to buy things for you!!!!), which we won't know for 5 or so more weeks at the ultrasound. But I figured a couple items at half price day will be just fine. It's going to be so different having a baby boy in our house.... or will it? Felicity is pretty classically girly, and Clare is a really nice mix between girly and "tomboy" (I wish there was a better way to describe what I want to say!), and then we'll see what you're like, and what things you enjoy. All I know is you're going to be loved, and kissed, and babied as much as you can stand! We are really excited for a tiny baby in our house. Love you so much!!


Love,
Mommy

Dust Off the Old Blog for Baby #3

Baby #3,


Ahhhhhh! I'm 13 weeks pregnant, but it's still overwhelming to think about, although incredibly exciting. As you might notice by the lack of pre-pregnancy letters, our journey for you was quite different from your sisters. Let's just say that we took what was a VERY small chance, being ok with the VERY small chance that we would get pregnant, knowing that it took fertility meds for Felicity, and many months of charted trying for Clare, and, well, here we are :). Though I initially completely freaked out at being pregnant (after all, I had taken 2 negative tests before the positive and really did not think it was possible I was pregnant), I remembered me something that has brought me peace every day since then. And bare with me if you aren't Catholic/religious, because this concept might be super weird to you. A couple days after said chance was taken, I prayed to God. I told God that I was not sure daddy or I would have it in our hearts to be that open again and that if it was His will for there to be another baby in our family, he better work with what we gave Him. I have no doubt that you were in God's plan for our family all along. Daddy and I both had so many reservations and hesitations about whether to grow our family or not, simply because of the needs of our current children (and ourselves!), but I'm so glad we took that chance and God ran with it. Felicity is beside herself with joy. She will be 5 when you are born and is already, seriously, the most amazing sister ever, so I have no doubt that'll extend to you, too. I love seeing her level of excitement and understanding at this age. She talks about you almost every day, and went to our 8 week ultrasound to see our little bean. Clare doesn't quite get it, but will point at my stomach and say "baby tummy?". She needs lots of reminders to be gentle with mommy's tummy, but she's getting there. Just before I found out I was pregnant, both girls became really interested in babies which really tugged my heart strings. That has continued, as well as playing babies, and playing baby dolls has really picked up. Your sisters are processing the wonderful news and are so excited. I know we'll have growing pains but, if I'm honest, I knew deep down I wasn't "done". Despite the fact that my last pregnancy was pretty awful and I don't really love nursing, I didn't feel done with either of those things. I wanted to feel one more baby grow, feed one more baby, watch one more baby meet milestones. I'm so glad it's you. We left gender a surprise with your sisters, but we are going to find out with you. I'm nervous I will regret it (finding out at birth has been SO MUCH FUN!), but we want to experience this side of it, plus I really need to know whether or not to keep the closet FULL of girl clothes for a Feb/March baby that I have stored! Your cousin is due March 12th, just before your March 21st due date. So many babies :). Love you so much and keep growing, little one. Now I should probably go take a "bump" picture since I'm already 2 pictures behind. Sorry 3rd baby :).

Love,
Mommy

Update on My Girls

I am apparently no longer a blogger, but I wanted to at least give little snippets of life since my baby girls just turned 4 and 2!!!


Felicity:
Current interests/likes: mermaids, Paw Patrol, Octonoauts, Animal Mechanicals, chapter books (we went through the Mercy the pig series together), dinosaurs (mostly longnecks from Land Before Time), crafting- mostly scissors, glue, and paint currently, board games, Go Fish, mazes, workbooks, pretending to be a dog, playing rock, scissors, paper, having "movie nights" with her friend Aubrey, having mommy or daddy dates (just her and one of us), folding my cleaning rags for me, making her own pbj.

Dislikes: being bathed (she likes playing but not being washed), sleeping alone or going to bed alone (after 2+ years of no problem!!!), writing letters even though she knows them, getting ready for bed, having her hair brushed.

Favorite sayings: Compellor for propellor, vamilla for vanilla, gorilla bar for granola bar

Medical things: My poor girl is dealing with anxiety and we are treading lightly and lovingly, waiting to discuss with her doctor at her well check to see at what point we should be getting outside help for her. She's incredibly afraid of being anywhere alone; hence the sleep struggles I mentioned. Or even where she perceives she's alone but she's really not, like her being in her car seat, me telling her I'm grabbing something from the back of the van, and then disappearing from her sight for 30 seconds to do it. And she went from playing alone in her room 2 or so hours a day to not at all. It's been a few months of this so... my gut says it may not get better without some intervention (besides us trying to love her through it). Otherwise, she's very healthy and is right on track developmentally.

General: Felicity is my rule follower and little helper. She says so many things that Steven and I say she's "my" daughter... IE she is my mini me. She wants to help, please people, and keep the peace. She also likes to make sure other people are following the rules. Felicity is SO smart and learns so easily and quickly. She's all about work books and, for the most part, has no problem with kindergarten level workbooks. She loves being read to and making up fairy tales to tell each other. She's gotten super cuddly and touch needy, so we get a lot of snuggles together. Felicity is my little buddy and I love running errands with her.

Clare:
Current interests/likes: anything resembling a piggy bank where she can insert small objects into a containers, any tiny things whether they are toys or not (for ex, she loves the tiny Calico Critter babies and bottle/pacifier), her play kitchen and Melissa and Doug cookie set, pretending to be a dog, climbing, jumping, swinging, snuggling, books, snacks.

Dislikes: any arts and crafts besides the rare occasion where she participates for a few minutes, messy hands, having her hair washed, not being held on demand, sleeping alone.

Favorite sayings: She calls my parents "mammy" and "boppa", short for what Felicity calls them, "meammy and meampa", touch (rhymes with couch.... for couch lol), tup for cup, she calls herself Wara, meaning Clara which is our fault for calling her that when she's naughty lol, "Wara do it", and very favorite and longest lasting is "naynayne" for airplanes, which she is OBSESSED with! She says "bapple" for apple, "oof one" for other one, and "oof-fly" for butterfly. She has the SWEETEST little voice and I love hearing her talk, especially now that she is starting to string words together.

Medical things: After a year of struggles meeting Clare's needs and feeling like there was something just off, we had her evaluated through early intervention. She is right on track developmentally, but is very sensory seeking, and mildly sensory avoidant. We are so fortunate to be receiving developemtnal play therapy one hour a week and OT one hour a week. I didn't even know developmental play therapy was a thing, and it surprised me to hear them say she needs it... but the more I thought about our day to day, they are totally right. She's extremely disorganized with play and doesn't usually seem to 'get' it. Felicity can do very little with Clare around because Clare rarely can join in in any meaningful way, which is especially frustrating for Felicity as she is too afraid to play alone in her room right now. So I am really thankful to be getting services started for her (next week!) to help her play better, feel better, respond better to stimuli, and for us to be able to help her.


General: Clare keeps us on our toes. She is NOT a rule follower :), and prefers to do her own thing her own way. She will run as far away as she can one second, and not want to be put down or have me out of her sight the next. Clare likes to do things on her terms and knows what she wants. Clare is so inventive and resourceful that it shocks me. She can get anything from anywhere, even when I feel like I've fully "Clare-proofed" something. Watching her wheels turn is fascinating. She will stack furniture in a heart beat to get over gates, onto counters, open door knobs, etc. She is very emotional and does an amazing full body pout, and equally amazing head-only pout. It's a little sad and a little funny at the same time. Clare is such a funny little girl. She's always made silly faces, and now she tells knock knock jokes that make zero sense but are hilarious in their delivery. I can be on the brink of so much frustration with her, and then she does something so funny I can't help but laugh and squeeze her. She stretches my 'parenting muscle' daily, and I am mostly glad for that. I can't really parent her by the book, or at least not just by ONE book. It takes a lot of forethought, compassion, empathy, creativity, boundary upholding, and love to get through our days, and she makes me a better parent every day. Love my silly little bear!