7 Quick Takes

--- 1 ---

EEEEK! Tomorrow is family Ikea day! My parents, brother, and sister in law are meeting us in Charlotte for a day of Ikea fun. We're going to start with lunch (Steven is dying to try the meatballs) and then do a whole lot of shopping. Of course the purpose is to buy ALL THE BABY THINGS, but you can't go through Ikea without exploring every square inch.... at least, I can't! My parents are also hopefully going to pick up our travel system on the way so double eek! It's hard to get, so hopefully no one buys from the 'limited selection' before Saturday morning! 

--- 2 ---

Does a parish in your area have the "That Man is You" program? My husband did the part I last year and is now doing part II. He LOVES it! The guys in his group are a bit older than him, but there is a strong focus on family and marriage, and in a way that totally appeals to men. He really enjoys the statistics and science they include, rather than just 'feel good' talk. I love it for him! If the program exists in your area, you should suggest it to your husband! Steven drives a little over 30 minutes once a week to go.

--- 3 ---

My executive director's birthday in on Sunday. She is about the most awesome thing to happen to our agency ever. She came on short term in July 2012 and we haven't let her leave yet. So we are throwing her a breakfast bday party at our staff meeting tomorrow! She is about as obsessed with Hello Kitty as my mom is, so everyone is wearing pink. On the menu is breakfast casserole, fruit, juice, danish, and Hello Kitty cake (one of my coworkers is crazy talented with cake). I get starving about every 12 minutes, but I'm not taking lunch tomorrow because I will have plenty to snack on all day! It's a surprise party, so I'm giddy with excitement. I love surprises! 

--- 4 ---

Speaking of birthdays this Sunday, my dear hubby turns 28! He was all set up to have his 8th annual shrimp fest birthday at Red Lobster because All You Can Eat Shrimp is always this month. Except not this year! I called to beg them to do it for our group (thanks to my SIL pushing me to ;) ) and let them know he's loyally had his bday there for almost a decade, but no can do. They said they moved it to September because they are now going to have it twice a year. So Steven decided to start a new tradition and picked Applebees. Easy to please, huh? It's right near the house, too, which makes me happy for all the rest of his birthdays when we'll have little ones to corral! I can always bring kidlets home and have one of his friends give him a ride if need be. And he's happy because he can have mozzarella sticks as an appetizer. Win win!

--- 5 ---

I am officially addicted to consignment store shopping (as well as cloth diaper shopping, but that's another post). Thrift stores are ok, but I almost find better deals, and definitely better selection, at consignment stores! I got 4 baby outfits ranging from 3-9 months for $4 this week- 2 sleepers and 2 rompers. Plus a Sandra Boynton book (collecting them all because she's one of my faves!) for $2 and the book "Going to Mass" for $2. And for me? A $7 pair of pants to wear to work. Score! I only went in for the pants...

--- 6 ---
Want to know something bizarre that's probably weird to share? My chiropractor adjusts the ligament that holds my uterus in place! It's part of what's called the "Webster Technique" and I've had a lot of fun learning about it from him! I never heard about round ligament pain until I got it and googled it in my first trimester, but my right ligament generally hurts the most, and the last 2 weeks he's said it's out and adjusts it back. It's so weird because I'm only used to chiropractors adjusting bones! Sorry to the businessman who was next in line this week and watched my uterine adjustment....that was probably uncomfortable for him. 

 --- 7 ---
Friday Question: What link ups do you do besides Quick Takes? I used to participate in a few others but stopped for various reasons. I'm thinking one more per week might help me get my writing mojo back, even if I don't do it every week. 

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

Dear Penny: Letters to our Child #15

For the complete series of letters to our baby from pre-conception til now, click on the "Dear Baby Series" tag!

source

Dear Penny, 8/3/2013

Well, little babe, ask and ye shall receive. My symptoms did come back (still not daily, but that’s ok!) AND I got some extra surprises like a giant hematoma on my right hip where I get my Tuesday injections. I thought the injections hurt (well, they do) but this gives pain a new definition. It hurts to sit, lay, walk, stand, shift... basically ANYthing I do! I have never experienced something like this before. Poor daddy has to deal with me crying daily, especially at night when it’s almost impossible to get comfortable. But you know what I love? Redemptive suffering. My suffering does not have to be for naught. My Catholic friends in the online group gave me their prayer intentions and mommy focuses on that every time the pain gets really, really bad. I think redemptive suffering is one of my very favorite parts of being Catholic. What we are going through is lifting others up, little one.

Now we have to do both Tues and Fri injections in the left until the right heals. If it happens a lot, it will mean my body just does not tolerate injections and I’ll have to go back to progesterone pills. The downside is that my progesterone was not high enough when I was on the HIGHEST dose of pills. So that is very, very scary for mommy and daddy. How about let’s make a deal? Mommy puts up with whatever amount of pain, stress, and discomfort that comes her way, and you fight, fight, fight and hang on. You and me, we’re a team, ok?

We went to a consignment store a few miles away yesterday and LOVED IT. I almost had to drag daddy out! They had great stuff at great prices, and lots of NC State stuff. We came out with a few goodies :). Mommy also scored some awesome maternity stuff at a thrift store this week: $1.50 for a nice maternity shirt for work (for way later on!) and $1.50 for brand name maternity pants for work! So excited!

I meant to tell you about the first trimester symptoms that you never hear people talk about. I always hear about fatigue and nausea but that’s it. Well, I’ve had some of both (they come and go) but no one told me that I’d have menstrual like cramps for MONTHS! They also come and go but were very scary in the early days when I was so afraid that might mean I was miscarrying! There’s other cramps too that are just...different... and alarming but usually stop after 10-20 minutes. Everyone says as long as they are light and there is no bleeding, it’s normal. Then there’s round ligament pain which the internet sources say you don’t get til your 2nd trimester but women on message boards everywhere say 1st. Yep, check! If I hadn’t already seen you on ultrasound, I would have thought you might be ectopic with how sharp and towards the right the pain was.

I knew I might have food aversions (mommy rarely wants sweets! What!?) but didn’t know I’d crave stuff this early. Luckily I mostly crave protein in the form of eggs, dairy, and nuts. I also have been craving white potatoes, but haven’t discovered the nutritional need in that one yet! Speaking of food, you now have your sex organs and mommy has been SO careful to avoid sugar in case you are a girl, since your ovaries and eggs will be formed in my womb. I want those to be healthy so you don’t have to deal with this stuff! I guess people talk about being emotional, but it hit me like I didn’t expect. I cry at baptisms, I cry at Chicken Soup for the Expectant Mother’s Soul, I cry over tough work situations (the worst!) and I cry for little or no reason at all. I’m not a crying person in general, so that’s definitely been a change!

In a little over 2 weeks we see you again and then we can tell the whole world! I can’t wait!

Love,

Mommy

7 Quick Takes

--- 1 ---

You may or may not have noticed that I've been on a bit of a blogging hiatus. It was unintended, but caused by the not-at-all-a-problem of October being such a fun, busy month! I have come to really love fall the past few years, and with that October becomes chock full of fun events! I am a little verklempt over a lack of fall colors so far this year. I'm assuming it has something to do with the ever-crazy weather, but I'm so ready for the beautiful colors of Raleigh in the fall! I'm thinking they'll start coming out more in the next 2 weeks. 

--- 2 ---

On Wednesday, we went to our favorite farm to get our pumpkin and some homemade, farm fresh ice cream. Sadly, they switched hay rides to weekends only, but at least we know for next year. That did not stop us from buying produce, honey, and sitting on their porch swing with our pumpkin ice cream. 

 Celebrating 20 weeks at the farm!

Steven with our chosen pumpkin. 

--- 3 ---

Thursday was our 20 week ultrasound. We saw the baby's stomach (the organ! it was crazy!), kidneys, diaphragm, and brain. We had to look away about 5 times so we didn't see the gender, and that was torturously fun. In this picture, you can see Penny saying his/her prayers with little hands folded in front of the face. Yeah, our baby is awesome like that. For the 3rd ultrasound in a row, our baby has eaten its hands and stuck its arm above its head. I love seeing its little behavioral patterns and habits already! My slight concerns about Penny not kicking much were eased when, as I suspected, I found out my placenta is at the top, right where the baby's feet are! So the baby kicks it instead of me. However, I took a bathroom break mid ultrasound and, when I came back, the baby had completely turned! Maybe I'll feel more now, unless it turned back after the ultrasound was over. 

After the ultrasound, we went to a consignment store near our doctor's office. I got a shirt and jacket, and baby got a little stash of books. Then we went to Target to work on our registry. They gave us a little gift with goodies inside, which was almost more fun than making the registry (especially since there were SO many holes in the baby section!!!). 

--- 4 ---

Then yesterday afternoon we went to the opening day of the NC State Fair! With all the fun free stuff like shows and exhibits, who needs rides??? We saw pig, duck, and goat races, and an acrobatic show, plus tons of livestock, crazy sized produce, and sooo many flowers. We each had our choice of a salty treat and sweet treat. I think I could now sleep for a week.

--- 5 ---

As if the fun should stop there, tonight we are headed up to the front of our neighborhood to see a play. There is a performing arts center a mile from our house, and we've so far gone to the town talent show, Charlotte's Web, and quite a few of the summer concerts. Tonight we're going to walk up there and see "Barefoot in the Park". I'm so excited, and love living so close to it! Then Saturday is Catholic Convocation, which my awesome parish paid for me to attend since I'm a catechist. I've signed up for 3 sessions which I've long since forgotten, and we have mass with the bishop. Sunday, I may just crash from all this fun ;). 

--- 6 ---
 Periodically, we like to go show some love to the cats at Petsmart. These two almost had me taking out my wallet and signing adoption pictures when we went on Wednesday!!!! Can you even resist their sweetness? 

 --- 7 ---

Friday question: all you mamas (and papas?) out there! How many changes of things like sheets, mattress covers, changing table covers, and bibs do I need? So far I registered for 2 of each except bibs which I have yet to register for. Is 2 enough of everything but bibs? I don't want a ton of stuff to store, but I also want enough... I just don't know what enough is! I figure with cloth diapering I'll be doing a ton of laundry anyway?

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

Dear Paycheck, I Miss You Already

Many of you know... well, now all of you know... that I will not be returning to work after our baby is born. It has been my lifelong dream to stay at home with my babies like my mom did with me. Though I had times where I thought I wouldn't, thought I might not want to, or thought I just plain couldn't, I am thrilled that we were able to work this out. Steven had to get used to the idea, but is now really glad that we'll be able to provide a full time parent for our baby(ies).

But there are a lot of loose ends that come with giving up an income. If we had gotten married and I didn't have a job yet, this would all be much easier because we would be used to one income. But we've spent our dating and married years (4 total) with 2 incomes and the niceties that affords. And I'm not even talking about fancy things. Even with 2 incomes, we still earn pretty modestly, spend wisely, and budget. But if we wanted to splurge and go out to eat, or save up to buy the sectional we were dying for, it was always an option. If we wanted to save for a trip, or if we had an unexpected car repair, it was rarely an issue. We have discussed many times how there are a lot of things that just won't be an option after we give up my income. Steven's income will be just about enough to pay our day to day needs and bills. We have spent the last few years beefing up savings so we have that to help out, too. But obviously draining our savings is not ideal, especially if it isn't replenishing, so that's not a long term solution. We both know that I'll need to find some kind of supplemental income at some point for those non day to day things, like unexpected medical expenses, car repairs, etc. I'll probably look into watching someone's child in my home or doing tutoring- something that doesn't take away from the time I want to spend tending to our family and our home. We are working on a major mental shift as we realize that my paychecks are quite literally numbered. We are really distinguishing between the wants and needs, and learning that things we sometimes categorize as a need now are really a want. I think about challenges we'll face, like other people being possibly frustrated with us for turning down things that we know we can't or should not afford. Or having to have modest holidays as far as gifting goes (which, honestly, is kind of appealing to me). Or counting our pennies to make sure we can stretch to cover what we truly need.

It's going to be tough. I know it is and we don't sugar coat it when we talk about it. At some point, it will just be our new normal. We'll learn to get more creative, we'll figure out what we really have to do income wise, and it will be a great lesson in teamwork, humility, and minimalism. I don't expect it to be easy, but I thoroughly intend on it being worth it. I feel like the hardest part about it is that we live in a world so full of wants. As Steven and I talked about the other day, we both feel so, so satisfied in our life together. We love saving money, we actually have come to enjoy not having to have the next new thing, and it's become kind of fun to find deals! So when it's us in our little self imposed world (which is most of the time), these aspects are not really stressful. But when we surround ourselves with the greater world, we do find it creep in a little.

We live in a society where things are often placed above people, and it's hard to not have that influence you at least a bit. I may see a new purse a friend bought and think "I'm going to have to reuse my purses for a very long time!". Or Steven may see someone start collecting a new card game and just know that's not going to happen for him, which is a bummer. But we both know what we're doing this for and, for us, it is so important that we want and need to give up the pleasantries of life that the world tells us we are deprived without in order to make it a reality. We are bombarded with ads and commercials telling us what we need in order to be happy. But we've decided that, for our family, it is something else entirely that will make us happy. The trick is remembering that when we see the big world around us indulging in whims. Luckily, we've got some great family and friends who live at least similarly to us, and we know are supportive of our family and that is huge! I hope that any time I think about the things I want, I look around at my family and think about what we truly need...what they truly need.

For those of you who stopped working at some point in motherhood, or those of you who kept working and had to make the cost of daycare work by cutting other things, what tips or advice do you have? How do you, as Catholics are called to do, be in the world but not of it with such an influential consumerism society? If anyone wants to guest post on the topic, I'd love to host!

Dear Penny: Letters to our Child #14

For the complete series of letters to our baby from pre-conception til now, click on the "Dear Baby Series" tag!

source

Dear Penny, 07/31/2013

Happy 9 weeks! I love Wednesdays. Daddy and I anxiously await our weekly email about what size fruit/vegetable you are and what developments you are having, and then text each other from work about it. It’s so much fun! I can’t wait to see you. I can’t wait to see if you look more like mommy, or daddy, or a blend of both of us. I can’t wait to look at your little face and know that I’m looking at myself and my husband. I can’t wait to hold you when Daddy is gone at work and know that a piece of him is still physically there with me! I can’t wait to see whose personality traits you inherit. I can’t wait to see if you come out with mommy’s dark blonde, stick straight hair or daddy’s thick, black, curly as anything hair or daddy’s brown eyes or mommy’s blue eyes. We certainly have fun thinking of the combinations :). I can’t wait to see Daddy look down at you and see a part of him in someone else. I think mommies think about that from the second they are pregnant, but Daddy will have to see you for it to really hit him... there’s his sweet little baby, half him, staring back. So many moments I’m excited to experience for the first time.

Before that though, I’m so excited to feel you move and turn and kick! I’m excited for my belly to grow round. It’s already growing but I think that’s just progesterone bloat, and since I’m not ready to tell work, it’s not quite as fun ;). I can’t wait to see you on ultrasound again in just under 3 weeks. I’m excited for the anticipation of whether you’re a boy or a girl after the time where we COULD know but do not want to. I’m excited to finish telling people about you!

Mommy has some of the greatest friends and what’s even more special is that some I may never meet in person. In my online Catholic group I have received SO MUCH love already during this pregnancy. One friend since a box of maternity clothes and books, another sent a $25 Motherhood Maternity gift card that she hadn’t used, and still another custom made a rosary for us for almost free! We picked out March birthstone like beads and all the other beads for it, and it is simply stunning. We are praying it every week for your health, my health, and for all couples struggling with infertility. It has blessed us immensely already and we’ve only done it twice! I can’t wait to give you that rosary when you are old enough and to explain how mommy and daddy prayed on it while you grew.

I just love you!

Mommy

7 Quick Takes

--- 1 ---

Guess what? Your progesterone prayers are working! THANK YOU! I'm now in mid zone 2 which, while not great, is literally out of the danger zone. So thank you!!! My mama heart feels so much better. I got that news the same day we went in for our elective ultrasound so that day was pretty amazing. And I may watch the ultrasound dvd on repeat until the birth. The baby in both the 12 and 18 week ultrasounds would put one arm over it's head. I'm so interested to know if the baby will do that a lot once it's born! Other ultrasound highlights were grabbing the umbilical cord, rubbing its eyes, and trying to eat its hand. So in love!

--- 2 ---

This is random but who in the world builds a house and put's an a/c vent almost directly under the sink on the floor? Do you know how much food that vent has eaten in the 15 months we've lived here? I feel like I need to get some kind of screen like you'd use for a screen porch and put it under the grate. Every time something drops, I cringe. Does your house have any quirks like that?

--- 3 ---

Did you see the blog giveaway over at Having Left the Altar? Baby Cash totally wants it but you should enter, too! 

--- 4 ---

On Thursday afternoon, Mandi and I went to a consignment sale a few towns over. I scored tickets to the presale for being a new mom.... except they never checked them so apparently anyone could go! I got SO MANY BOOKS! I kind of have a book problem. I got the entire A-Z Sesame Street collection plus a Winnie the Pooh book and several about cats. I also got quite a few other goodies that weren't particularly registry material. Those sales are dangerous so I will have to skip the next few that come up! I had so much fun!

--- 5 ---

This week Steven and I both got a treat at the grocery store. His pick? Pumpkin beer. My pick? TruMoo chocolate milk. Yep, pretty much explains us perfectly ;). 

--- 6 ---
We ran out of our body wash that I get at Whole Foods (the ONLY thing I get at Whole Foods) and since it's super inconvenient to get to, I picked up some Ivory body wash. For some reason, I thought Ivory was like basic soap ingredients and made for sensitive skin. All I know is that I reek of perfume smell when I get out of the shower. Yuck! The Whole Foods body wash we used had all natural ingredients including natural smell goods (our favorite is grapefruit), so this fakey stuff is a big, unwelcomed change. Only approximately 50 or so more showers to go... 

 --- 7 ---

Friday question: I'm going to be finishing Breaking Bad in another week or so *sob*. What should I start on next? I'm pretty caught up (or as caught up as I want to be/can be for free) with Downtown Abbey, Call the Midwife, and Teen Mom 3 (lol). I've got Mad Men on my list but not sure how I feel about it. Suggestions? Netflix options, please! 

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

A Lesson in Trust... Which I Mostly Fail

I'm basically a ball of mess this pregnancy. I worried the entire first trimester about normal first trimester things, plus my increased chances of miscarriage due to progesterone issues. Once I got out of the first trimester, saw that baby kicking on screen, and my levels were doing pretty good, I took a big sigh of relief and began enjoying the baby and pregnancy. I had fun trying on maternity clothes, picking out things for the baby, and learning all about birth. That was fairly short lived because it was just a few weeks after that I got the news about my progesterone levels being borderline dangerously low. Since then, I'd say I've been more worried than I was the entire first trimester! I realized that being anxious 100% of the time just wasn't going to cut it. I guess self preservation kicked in or something, and my body realized that level of stress was not happening. So I slowly began to gather a few things that have helped me work towards trusting God through the rough times of this pregnancy, and I thought I might share those here for any experiencing similar issues, or for people who may know someone going through a tough pregnancy. 

Ideas for us new moms struggling to trust:

Prayer, Prayer, Prayer. All forms!* Steven keeps reminding me of this, thankfully, and I have probably spent more time in prayer this pregnancy than I have in a long time combined before that. It's good for my spirit but also good for me physically since I already have high blood pressure, and I know anxiety certainly isn't helpful to the little babe. It grounds me, centers me, and helps me to focus on something outside of myself. Offering up my struggles for others has been a huge blessing throughout this pregnancy.

Talk it out. For the most part I just end up a big sobbing mess when I talk about my fears. But you know what? I can then move on for a few hours or sometimes a few days and be in decent spirits. When I keep it to myself, I obsess over it until I let it out. So, now, I try to let it out as soon as I can so I can move on for a bit. Steven is the only person I really bare my soul about it to, so sometimes that means I obsess all day until we're together, but that's ok, too. That just gives me an opportunity to turn back to #1. I do think it's important to feel and deal with the emotions, rather than just telling myself "the baby is fine". I'm not a believer in stuffing emotions, so I feel them, then redirect myself. 

Elective ultrasounds, ya'll. I went into this pregnancy thinking I'd like the bare minimum ultrasounds, tests, etc. I just don't like a lot of extra medical stuff anyways, so it made sense. Well you know what makes sense now? Checking on my baby! So it took me a little time, but I'm letting go of the self imposed guilt and checking on this baby when I can which, so far, has meant 4 ultrasounds (3 at the doctor, 1 elective). And I now have a handy dandy teddy bear with baby's heart beat recorded inside to get me through my next ugly cry. Oh, AND a dvd of the 20 minute ultrasound so I can watch Penny wiggle around any time I want! 

Learning to trust. Well trying to trust. At least, thinking about trust. So when it comes down to it, I do trust God. Honestly, I do. I know that no matter what happens, He's got my back and will take care of me. Even if something awful that shall remain nameless happens, He is taking care of Penny and He is taking care of us. I know that, and I have to do a lot of self talk about that. Because when I'm super irrational and anxious, all I can focus on is that I want Penny healthy. I mean, what mom wouldn't? But I have to redirect those thoughts to knowing that we will all be taken care of. It's probably what I struggle with the most but luckily I'm a boss at self talk (thanks social work!), so I'm improving. It's one of those 'practice what you preach' things. I know it in my heart; but I have to make my head believe it. 

Force myself to revel in the small things. I felt the baby kick once over a week and a half. So yeah, I panic a lot about "why hasn't it kicked again???". I try to redirect that to, "wasn't that kick the coolest thing ever?". When I look pregnant in an outfit, I just look at myself for a bit and think about the fact that I am growing a human being inside of me that is half me and half Steven. Gets me every time. When someone gives me attention for being pregnant, I try not to think "yeah but....." and list off my worries in my head, and just enjoy the fact that I'm pregnant. I say a prayer of thanksgiving for the ability to have become pregnant and remind myself to never take that for granted, and to not let my anxieties get so high that I lose sight of the miracle of that. So stepping back to enjoy the little things throughout the pregnancy definitely help me refocus when I'm being high strung about whether or not the baby is ok.

Our heartbeat bear. Squeeze the chest heart and our little baby's heartbeat recording starts! Love it!!!

Penny's profile from today with little hand up near the mouth. S/he kept sucking on his or her hand and pulling the umbilical cord lol! It was too cute!! 

For those of you who had risky/complicated pregnancies, or even just had a lot of anxiety in general, what things did you find comforting and helpful? I'm certainly up for adding more tools to my toolbox for these next 22 weeks! :) 

*Some of you may remember that I've posted before about how we do a weekly rosary for couples struggling with infertility. I want to mention it again so that you can give me any names of people you'd like us to specifically pray for. If you already gave me a name, they are on the list! Mary is big and bad.... 6 pregnant ladies from the list so far!!!!