I really, really wish I could remember where I heard this. I'm almost positive it was from someone in the blogging world and/or Cathsorority. If it was you, let me know and I will certainly give credit where credit is due! But anyway, I heard something early on in our marriage (ya know.... two months ago or so) that I think about all the time and has been really helpful. Someone said that when you get married, you are a wife and just think the role will come naturally and you know pretty much what you need to know. But you spend your whole life being a daughter or sibling or friend so there has been plenty of time to learn as you were raised in these roles. Being a wife is totally unique in that one day you go to bed not a wife, and the next day you are one. You certainly have probably prepped for the marriage, but you haven't already had years of experience in this role and certainly were not born into this role. It's a brand new role with a steep learning curve.
Maybe this is obvious to a lot of you, but I didn't really give a conscious thought to the fact that being a wife was somewhat of a learned role. I knew I wasn't going to go into marriage with all the answers and being the perfect wife, but I didn't think about all the learning that would happen. I have learned so, so much over just these past 5 months and I'm sure have a jaw dropping amount of learning left to do on what it is to be a wife. I have learned things about myself that I didn't want to know or didn't want to face, but I that I am so appreciative that I can work on. Marriage is really showing me who I am, what I'm made of, and leading me to who I want to be.
It's funny because I know a lot of people say the first year of marriage is the hardest. Well, we still have 7 months left to go but so far, it really hasn't been hard being married at all. I'm not saying life is all cherries, but we are really enjoying being married and having a wonderful time. I would say the hard part has been the introspective parts of marriage, seeing who I am as a wife and as half of this sacrament, and where I fall short. It's been eye opening and honestly caught me off guard. I thought I would learn all kinds of things about us, but mostly I have learned a whole lot about me and how I need to change and grow for the betterment of my marriage. And believe me when I tell you, I have got lots of learnin' to do in this wife business, but I am really enjoying it!
That really is an amazing way to look at it. I am with you, if the first year is the hardest, then my marriage should end up being pretty fun! But there was (is) still so much learning to do in this newish role for me. It's difficult to look at yourself and the areas that your not your best in, then try to make changes.
ReplyDeleteI think it's different for everyone--our first year was fantastic! And second, and third... We really focus on being a team, instead of two individuals with divergent goals. I think that mindset helps a lot.
ReplyDeleteGlad you are enjoying it! You guys are so cute. :)