I haven't done a 7 Quick Takes in forever! I guess that's what happens when you're busy gestating and birthing a human ;). Felicity is currently napping in the swing, giving me a few precious moments to myself! I took her to visit my old workplace yesterday and someone asked me what was surprising or what did I not expect about pregnancy and parenthood. I'm awful at those types of questions on the spot (and after a sleepless night, I couldn't do simple math let alone be introspective) but here are 7 things I did not expect and surprised me!
I didn't imagine the sleepless nights to be so hard and so infuriating. I do really well on a little bit of sleep and I do well being woken up, so I thought I was just made for this. Imagine my surprise when I feel like I'm about to fall apart at the seams each night that she is up off and on the entire night. I didn't know I could be this exhausted or be so annoyed with the little human who loses her paci every 2.4 seconds. I didn't know I could miss my bed, solid hours of sleep, and cuddling my husband SO MUCH.
On the flip side, I've never known a love so powerful that one second I can kind of wish she's not here, and then she looks into my eyes, or does an epic man fart, or shows her one dimple and I fall more in love with her in that second than I can ever explain. It feels very bipolar to be so frustrated and then swoon so hard. Steven and I have said quite a few times to each other, "God knew what he was doing when he made babies", because the sweetness is so overwhelming that 30 seconds in the morning can wipe out 8 hours at night. It's crazy.
I'm surprised that I never got big big, didn't really get stretch marks, and went almost back to my normal size immediately. Being a fluffy person, I really thought I'd be doomed, but it has been a really pleasant surprise. I'm still 10 lbs away from my pre pregnancy weight, yet I'm fitting into my pre pregnancy clothes, which excites me for when I do reach my pre pregnancy weight! I know she was small and a bit early and that could play into it, but I seriously imagined feeling like I was wrecked (long term... I did feel that way short term lol!) by being pregnant. Speaking of, I thought I'd hurt longer and recovery would be harder!
I didn't expect to have a high maintenance baby. This was probably me being naive since my pregnancy was high maintenance, but for some reason I just expected a low maintenance child. But between her having days and nights sorely mixed up, being really gassy, and having feeding issues, she is most certainly high maintenance. In fact, after a few hour visit with her, my brother went out and got her an outfit that said as much :P.
I'm shocked that I had a baby who will be in newborn clothes for a long time! My little peanut is so teeny and petite! My family grows large babies... like 9 and 10 lbs. Even though I knew that both my blood pressure and my blood pressure medicine could effect her size, and she was 2 weeks early, I guess I still didn't expect her to be so little (6 lb 6 oz at 3 weeks). So we had very few newborn size outfits, but it will be a while until she's in 0-3mo! Luckily friends and family loaded us up on some cute clothes, and I even had a friend bring us a couple preemie outfits after seeing some of the newborn clothes swimming on her. I love that she's little (as long as she's healthy, of course), but it really took me by surprise!
I did not expect the paci to be my enemy. We had plans to not give Felicity a paci, or at least until breastfeeding was established. That was until she freaked out in the hospital when we were working with the LC and she suggested offering a paci to calm her so we could keep working on breastfeeding. And then when she wanted to suck but wouldn't nurse and couldn't eat bottle after bottle, we bought the paci that the ENT recommended (a soothie). We did take it away for a few days at the recommendation of the IBCLC but she said not to let it become a power struggle. After the 4th hour of crying one night, we decided that's what it was and gave it back. And she stopped crying immediately. So now the paci is her bff much to my dismay. BUT the worst part is that she CANNOT keep the paci in her mouth. I spend hours at night reaching over to put the paci back in every 3-10 seconds. It makes me want to claw my eyes out. I'm seriously considering dealing with a couple of really horrible days in order to break her of the paci again but I feel like I can't do that until she is nursing more so she has a replacement... so the enemy paci lives on.
It didn't hit me until this week that we helped to bring a new soul into the world destined for heaven. Um, that's kind of heavy, I know. But seriously... what could be more awesome? Steven and I made a person (that alone blows my mind!) and she has a soul that will exist forever and ever! CRAZY COOL!
For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!
Popping over from Conversion Diary - I must admit that I was drawn to your post in part because of that beautiful little girl. Congratulations! The new mom thing is amazing and holy and wow, really hard sometimes. My first was early, had trouble feeding and was gassy too. You can do this; the love you have for your daughter shines through your words!!! Be assured of my prayer.
ReplyDeleteYour honesty is beautiful and refreshing. I love all three of you and hope this journey smooths out soon!
ReplyDeleteSpeaking to the Paci conundrum. I SOOO get it. With MM I was back and forth and back and forth on using it (we were also initially anti paci) and then we started using it a little, and then the problem of the darned thing not staying in, we never went to the wubanub (only because I didn't want to make it a thing she would LOVE and have constantly). Anyway. We made it through using the paci for bedtime/nap time only and honestly she is 16 months and still only using it for sleeping. You will find a groove with it and accept that regardless. Good Luck and I know these hard times are tough and precious in the same instant. It's so bitter sweet that you want her to get older and sleep better and eat better, but you also want to savor your newborn!
ReplyDeleteWe had the same trouble with the pacifier; it really helped soothe him, but he couldn't keep it in. That's when we tried a couple of different pacis and finally found one that had a big nipple that he could hold in his mouth.
ReplyDeleteFelicity is beautiful, by the way; here's prayers for a bit more sleep and peace of mind for you! It DOES get better; promise! :)